If we do believe that sexual desires and choices are fluid and complicated, then surely we must assume that a world in which heterosexuality is not the default norm—not promoted—would perhaps open up the door to a wider variety of sexual expressions and choices. And isn’t it the case that difference does, in point of fact, matter?
While gay teachers may not “turn” kids gay (just as my hetero parents failed to turn me hetero), can’t we also offer up the possibility that openly gay teachers (or neighbors or mothers or firefighters) may create environments that encourage expansive thinking about sexuality and gender?
Challenging both the fear of homosexuality and the ideology of immutability that attempts to refute that fear depends on a very different set of assumptions: that being gay is just fine, thank you very much; that gayness is not a problem to be understood, or solved, or even tolerated; and, more to the point, that there is a positive benefit to an expansive and open approach to human sexuality and gender. In other words, the framing of “gayness” as an issue of nature versus nurture or destiny versus choice misses the point about sexuality and about civil rights. It’s not our genes that matter here but rather our ethics."